Ok, I'm not used to write in english what I'm feelling about, but sometimes I realize that I'm used to think about my life in english, it's really weird, but sometimes I do and I need to.
Basicly I miss someone, I wish that person would talk to me. But then again, I don't, because I just don't want people, who don't want me in their lives, to be in mine. It's to hard, because I don't feel like this. I just want to forget the things I've done, and maybe try to make myslef believe that all was my fault. I' ve ever been angry, I've been just really sad (like Sapho singing), and every day I have to see myself like the most depressing shit ever. Now, yep, right now I can't stop crying. I cry with all the stupid pain of my heart, because I feel really stupid bcuz I thought long ago that I was essential for someone. Finally as result of it that person is more essential for me than enyone else. And it's stupid and mean, because that person is not so empty and doesn't feel so lonely like me. That person has loads of things to do and friends to go out with. And I just can't keep me warm, no I can't and I wouldn't.
I just want to grow up and get out, forget all these faces.
And who knows how long this day is going to last.
I am getting drunk this evening. And it isn't going to rule.
I'm not studying nothing at all.
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